I've Lost a 5th Grader from my Hips...my weight loss (and gain) journey

I always feel funny talking about my weight loss journey.  I think my greatest fear is that my talking about it will come across as PRIDE.  So up to this point, I've said very little.  Plus, it's personal, you know?  It's embarrassing to admit the amount of weight I gained through 2 full term pregnancies and 1 miscarriage.  And what average woman out there wants to draw attention to her body?  Lord know's that's not my desire.  But at the same time, haven't I said all along that I love when people are REAL?  When they can share from their hearts and give all the glory to God?  So here I am...openly talking about my weight...the good, the bad, the really bad, and God's unconditional love for me (inside and out) through it all.

I guess before I start w/ the weight LOSS I must first start at the weight GAIN.

I've always lived an active lifestyle and for most of my life have had a healthy relationship w/ food.  And then I got pregnant.  In Dec 2006, after years of begging God to bless me with a baby, I finally got pregnant.  And in New Zealand of all places!  While I was there I had this gut feeling that I was pregnant and even bought a cute little baby shirt that said, "Made in New Zealand".  That's how very sure I was.  (Little did I know, I was literally just days pregnant)  Jan 31st, 2007 I miscarried.  Talk about a dark, bleak day in my life.  (that whole "journey" will have to be saved for another day, I'm afraid.)  My O/B felt it best to put me on synthetic progesterone, so that if I were to get pregnant again, the baby would have the "best start possible".  I was too much of an emotional wreck to question him.   When I say I gained 10 lbs in 10 days I'm not even kidding you.  The weight just packed on...just as it had when I used to be on birth control.  With both of my pregnancies, I had to continue to be on progesterone well into my 2nd trimester b/c my levels were always low.  Combine synthetic hormones w/ a prego and in a nutshell, I got HUGE.

After having Sam Watson, I was introduced to 3 things that changed my life.

1. P90X
2. Idiot's Guide to Eating Clean (book)
3. Body by God: Bouncing Back After Pregnancy (book)

It's so true when watching "The Biggest Loser" and they say, "It's a lifestyle change."  Boy, are they not kiddin'.  Between my working out and eating clean along w/ focusing on my spiritual heart as much as my physical heart, the pounds just started dropping off.  I asked God to give me Scriptures that I could memorize to help me stay on course.  In retrospect, I see much of my inward/outward transformation as a way of God preparing me to go to Africa.  I honestly don't know how I would have done it had the weight still been on.  And if you have read any of my blogs re: God's work in my life while in Ghana, then you must know how even months before I stepped foot in Africa God was "tilling" my heart, preparing the "soil" for what was yet to come.  I see it so very clearly now.  I'm now 33 years old.  I remember on my birthday reflecting on the fact that I was the age of Christ when He died on the cross.  It's sad to say it, but it's taken me 33 years to really figure out what it means to crucify SELF and really live out loud for Christ in a real, practical, everyday way.  I told God I wanted "33" to be the best year yet!  And my friends, He hasn't disappointed and I still have most of the year to go!!!

I've had a LOT of people ask me questions and wanna know my "secret"...and it dawned on me that I've been holding back on the what the REAL secret of my weight loss has been all along...and that's been to simply want to KNOW GOD MORE.

I think it can best be adequately stated in one of my favorite songs:


I am reaching for the highest goal
That I might receive the prize
Pressing onward Pushing every hindrance aside,
out of my way 'Cause I want to know You more.

I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpxQaItQTNE&feature=related

I want ALL OF ME to glorify God.  And I knew deep in my heart, how can I, Misty Terrell, do that when I am 80 lbs overweight?  My weight issue was a HINDRANCE in my life.  At the same time and on the other end of the spectrum, I had to quit the self-loathing.  Let's face it women, haven't most of us struggled w/ weight at some point in our lives?  Or body image?  We look in the mirror and all we can think is, "If only..."  and we can get very "OCD" w/ our looks.  Well, let me tell you.  I've now lost my 80 lbs and all I have now is a NEW list of "if only's".  It's time for us to quit looking at ourselves through distorted mirrors and magnifying glasses, and instead view ourselves through the Biblical lens...we were hand-crafted by the God of all creation.  He used just the right paintbrushes, used perfect strokes, the best lighting, and in the end looked at each of us and said, "Yet another MASTERPIECE." And He tells us that while men look on the outward, what is HE looking at?  Our hearts.  BUT...that being said...we are required to be good stewards of what He has given us...including our bodies.  Thinking about what I put in my body and prioritizing exercise is exhibiting SELF-CONTROL...a fruit of the spirit. 

Yes, this past year has been just as much of a spiritual transformation for me as the physical one.  Weight loss IS a spiritual journey.  It's about changing the INSIDE first...and once that lines up w/ God's Word, then I strongly believe the outside will follow suit.  In the beginning stages after Sam Watson was born, it was H.A.R.D.  So many times I wanted to GIVE UP...or just plain  QUIT.  I meditated on Scripture to help keep me on track...even put my verses on 3x5 cards in my kitchen...and prayed constantly.  And frankly, I just dug my heels in and have been bound and determined to press on.  It has required the MOST STUBBORN FORM OF DISCIPLINE. By the way, did you know that Jesus also had a very STUBBORN FORM OF DISCIPLINE??  At any point during his torture on that cross, He could have given up, too.  He could have quit.  But he didnt'.  Because He loves Misty way too much.  He "dug His heels in" and was DETERMINED TO DIE ON THAT CROSS.  Well, Jesus, I'm diggin' my heels in, too.  You were determined to DIE for ME so I'll be determined to LIVE for YOU the best, most healthy way that I can.

On the humorous side of things...Just like gaining weight is depressing, losing weight has it's downsides, too.  Nothing in my closet fits me.  Even my pre-prego pants don't fit b/c my body shape has changed after 2 babies.  A couple of weeks ago Sam Watson pulled on my pants and the waist was literally down to my knees.  Oh, did I mention I was in the parking lot at the KC Zoo?

And then there are the concerned who are "worried" about me.  God forbid someone could actually lose weight in a healthy manner.  SURELY I'm starving myself and only eating kleenex.  

There is always this awkward moment I have when someone yells at me in a room full of people, "OH MY GOSH...YOU'VE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!!!"  What do I say?  "Thank you"???  or "I know! I was so fat last year!"???  Many of my friends and family tease me when I pass up dessert...but I KNOW what it feels like to weigh 80 lbs heavier than I am right now...AND I NEVER EVER WANT TO FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN.   Oh, and I love the people who make comments such as, "oh, you're so lucky that your weight just dropped off of you so easily."  Not ONCE have I even ATTEMPTED to stifle the loud outburst that explodes from my mouth!  YOU THINK IT'S BEEN EASY???  It's been the most grueling, spiritual and physical challenge of my LIFE!  And who's not to say I won't be facing this same challenge again in 10 years?  5 years?  Heck, next month!  Women age, our bodies change, life throws us curve balls...so trust me when I say I'm not at all sittin' comfortable.  I hope to forever be a "work in progress"...inward and outward.  All glory to God and GOD ALONE!

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (The Message)

 ^23-24May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he'll do it!

Feb 2010...oh this picture makes me cringe!

March 2010

May 2010..."Who's your friend w/ you or is that just your butt?"  ~Gloria's comment to Moto Moto on the movie "Madagascar"  Boy! can I relate!

July 2010

August 2010...This is when I started P90X...90 days every day.

September 2010...starting to see a waist

October 2010...right in the middle of my p90x routine and eating clean more and more

November 2010

December 2010...Africa is right around the corner!

January 2011 in Ghana

Feb 2011...Jax, Fl

March 2011 Harry and I goin' for a jog...praising God every step!

April 2011

Now, God...if you could just let the money fall from heaven so I can get as many nips and tucks as this momma desires!  HAHAHA!!! Just kiddin'...but not really.



IN CELEBRATION OF 80 LBS GONE, HOW 'BOUT A GOOD RECIPE???

Chocolate Cupcakes w/ Sweet potato Puree (my adaptation from the Choc Cupcake Recipe in Deceptively Delicious cookbook) 

1 Cup of Sweet potato Puree
1 Cup of Sucanat (found in sugar section of health foods store...or use Sugar in the Raw for a less clean version)
1/2 Cup of FlaxMilk or Almond Milk (both found at WalMart...I suggest Flax cuz it's loaded w/ Omega 3's)
1/2 Cup of Milk (whatever you have in your frig)
1/2 tsp of balsamic vinegar (I use pomegranate balsamic vinegar)
2 large egg whites
1 1/2 cups of white whole wheat flour (found anywhere...cheapest is Hy-Vee brand)
1/2 cup of wheat germ (found in baking aisle of health foods and is starting to mainstream in regular grocery stores...usually around flour or in organic section)
1/2 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp of baking soda
1/2 tsp of sea/kosher salt
dash of cinnamon (OPTIONAL: only do this if you like cinnamon mixed w/ chocolate)
2-3 handful's of chocolate chips (also optional but I'm thinkin' who in their right mind would opt OUT?)

preheat oven to 350.

In mixing bowl, combine puree, sucanat, milks and vinegar.  Add egg whites 1 at a time and mix just until incorporated.  Toss in all the dry ingredients (don't mix until all are thrown in) and the chocolate chips and mix until combined.  Don't overmix. (FYI:  I do this entire process in my kitchen aid mixer)

Fill up 12 GREASED muffin cups (spray w/ some olive oil cooking spray).  Bake for 20 minutes.  Allow to cool in the pan...they'll cook just a little bit more until they are perfectly moist and yummy.  Refrigerate for 3 days or you can even freeze them up to 3 months.  Great, healthy snack or to satisfy that chocoholic in us all!

TIPS:

1. don't want to go buy almond or flax milk?  Just use normal milk...but to boost up the nutritional benefits throw in a couple of tbsp of milled flax seed.

2.  If you opt OUT of choc chips, add about 1/4 cup more sucanat or raw sugar or toss in about 3 tbsp of agave nectar.  Taste batter and add more if you want it a little sweeter...BUT DON'T USE REFINED SUGAR!!!

3.  for those who are puree-challenged:  just bake your sweet potatoes (in foil) at 350 for 1 hour or until they are mushy when you press your finger in them.  Peel off the skin and place potato's in a food processor until nice and smooth.

4. Pomegranate Balsamic Vinegar: I found my bottle at Marshall's.  But here's a plug for the store Heavenly Olive Oils and Vinegar in Lee's Summit.  They have every flavor of bals vinegar and you can even taste test!!!  It's like a Baskin-&-robbins for cooks!!!  Also...grab a bottle of their butter olive oil.  You can sub it for butter in any recipe and my favorite way to use it?  Cooking my sunny-side-up eggs in! 

5.  Cooking for kids?  Instead of traditional icing, try spreading some vanilla yogurt and adding a few sprinkles on top.