Life Is Good: June 2011

When I got back from Africa, I felt like the world was at my fingertips. I had on all my "spiritual padding" and was ready to take it on, headfirst, shoulders down, like a bull in a Spain arena, I was ready to charge and change my world full speed ahead.

Here I am, months later, and I find myself wondering...what am I doing? Reality sets in very quickly after a trip around the world. Jim went back to work which left me fully responsible for the 2 little people whom I love and adore more than life itself.

Some days I find that I second-guess myself and doubt that I'm making a difference. My days consist of tending to 2 little humans all day long, with little time to even brush my teeth. Just this morning I was wrestling with the idea that I'm not doing enough, I'm not making a real DIFFERENCE. It was really bothering me. I know, I know...OF COURSE I'm changing the world "one little heartbeat at a time"...Being a mother is the MOST IMPORTANT job in the world. I get that. But the enemy sneaks into my head and tells me lies and every now and then I start believing them. When I was a teacher I saw HUNDREDS of students every week and left work every single day feeling validated. You don't get that as a mother. You get smudged windows, smashed fingers, time-outs, hide-n-seek, and PB&J sandwiches. I still haven't showered or made my bed and I really need to shave my legs! C'mon, every mother out there knows what I'm sayin', right??? In a nutshell, this morning I NEEDED AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT.

Time-out...but I was thinking, "I know kid, that's what I feel like doing right now, too!"

I couldn't shake the feeling of inadequacy...and I knew I needed an intervention. I needed to shift my thinking from "woe is me" to "WOW! You're GOD!" The kids and I went for a walk as soon as we could get out the door and I took my camera w/ us. As soon as my feet hit the dirt my spirits were already beginning to lift. The thick humid air hugged me in all its warmth and the sun kissed my bare shoulders. The honeysuckle is in full bloom and I could smell it all the way down our gravel road.

honeysuckle

It's amazing when you start looking at the world through the lens of a camera. You notice the LITTLE things that normally you'd miss. Kinda like when you start looking at life through the lens of God. He's in the details.

Upon our return from our jog/walk I set up the sprinkler and the kids played. Their giggles rose right up to the ears of Jesus and I know He was smiling down on them just as I did from the porch.

Fingerpainting in the nude. :) What can I say? We go all out here in the country!

We went on another nature stroll and discovered deer tracks, ticks, and Daddy's tractor. And slowly but surely I had my attitude adjusted.

I remembered THAT ITS ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE. When the kids went down for a nap I just let my spirit rest QUIETLY, INTROSPECTIVELY, REVERENTLY.

Simplicity. ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Our house

My hammock

Our driveway

I continued my dialogue w/ Him...just telling Him how much I love Him, how thankful I am for so many things, prayed over my sister in Ghana and all of the needs that are presented in front of them every day. But mostly, I just praised Him for Who HE IS and his creativity.

Wasp larvae

Honeysuckle

So a day that started off grumpy is ending in one of the best days I've ever had as a momma. When I came back into a quiet house, I smiled as I saw the little "left behinds" that both Charlee and Sam had waiting for me around the house. Oh how I love them.

Charlee had lined up all her horses and they were looking at me when I walked in the front door.

My kids love trains!

It wasn't but just few minutes later that Sam Watson was squealing for his Momma to come and get him. My heart melted as we played peek-a-boo over his crib rails.