This is a long blog. I have a lot to say and so much more that I am leaving out. I'm ANGRY. I just finished watching the first few Superbowl commercials and I want to spit at the TV. It's down-right disgusting. Whether it was yogurt, M&M's, insurance, or cars they all had 1 common theme: SEX. While many out there laughed and casually overlooked it, I was completely nauseated by the BLATANTLY explicit material and all I could think about was all the families gathered together around the television celebrating the “creativity” and “humor” behind all the degrading, sexist, raunchy images. Apathy is ugly.
While some of you may accuse me of being a “right wing conservative”, I'm not the only one who feels so strongly about the wrong messages the media is sending to today's kids. David Schwimmer (he played the character Ross on Friends) recently had an interview w/ a British magazine and addressed this issue. He emphasized that it is important to explain to girls at a young age that “they don’t need to use their bodies to be popular – that they can use their minds and their personalities” even though modern society may tell the opposite. Parents, don't you realize that the images that were flashed before our son's and daughter's eyes on Sunday produces boys who are hooked on pornography before adolescence; boys who learn to see girls as objects and judge and value them by how they look and how “sexy” they are. The American Psychological Association recently released their groundbreaking discovery that the proliferation of sexualized images of girls and young women in advertising, merchandising, and media is harmful to girls' self-image and healthy development, claiming that it causes girls to have serious body image issues, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. It's time for us to quit standing on the fence post when it comes to what we allow our children to view, what we allow them to wear, and what we allow them to listen to. Parents, are we a part of the PROBLEM or are we a part of the SOLUTION?
My husband and I recently celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. He let me pick the movie and, being a girl who loves a good action flick, we ended up going to Mission Impossible 3. Although I absolutely LOVED it, I had a hard time concentrating much of the time because a few rows in front of us was a 2 year old girl. I wanted to rush down there and save her from the images that I KNOW were taking root in her little heart! It was all I could do from not marching down there and giving her parents a piece of my mind...and the grandparents, since it apparently was a family event. Thankfully, most of us would never even think of taking our toddler to an action movie, but I have a question for you:
WHAT IMAGES ON TV DO YOUR KIDS SEE IN YOUR OWN
LIVING ROOM?
Our kids are HOUNDED from all angles. While I can't control what the media and television producers put IN MY the TV, I sure as heck have the control to what goes ON MY TV. My dear friends, we MUST start guarding our hearts and minds...and we can't expect our kids to learn how to do this in schools and churches. IT STARTS IN OUR VERY OWN HOMES, IN OUR VERY OWN LIVING ROOMS. We have a parental responsibility to train our kids HOW TO BE CRITICAL VIEWERS...and we must must MUST stress the importance of GUARDING OUR HEARTS AND MINDS for Christ Jesus. Sunday, Proverbs 4 kept popping into my head. If you aren't familiar w/ Proverbs 4, I would encourage you to take a read...and I enjoy reading it in several different translations. But specifically verse 23:
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
for everything you do flows from it.
So how do we teach our kids to 'guard their hearts'? How does that look in a PRACTICAL sense? In our family it's choosing what we do/do not allow our children to SEE. And boy, did that come into play during the Superbowl. It was appalling how many times we had to turn off the TV to protect my kids from blatantly sexually explicit advertisement. But we can't always protect them from every image they see. It's everywhere we go. Billboards, magazine racks, commercials, and even in our own mailboxes. When your child does see sexual images that are not appropriate for them, talk about it. You will not always be able to remove every questionable piece of material but in my home we use it as a teaching point. The other day I pulled something up on youtube and my 3 year old daughter covered her eyes and said, “That's not appwopwiate!” It was confirmation for me that yes, even at the tender of age of 3, our kids CAN distinguish right from wrong, BUT THEY NEED GUIDANCE.
Our kids hearts are precious. The constant presence of sexual images, messages, songs, toys, and clothing can contaminate their hearts. Young children have no filter or perspective. What they see and hear is reality to them. Until we have taught them the tools, and they are mature enough to guard their own hearts, we must guard it for them, slowly loosening the reigns of independence over time.
I want to be clear that the level in which you do these things will vary greatly depending on the age and maturity of your specific child/ren. What might be appropriate for a 13 year old might not be appropriate for a 6 year old. You can’t, and shouldn’t, always be controlling everything your kids do. If you do this, you rob them of the extremely valuable lesson of choosing right decisions on their own, something that will be vital to them as they navigate the waters of learning to guard their own hearts. But I can tell you right now, my kids will NEVER have a computer or TV in their bedrooms. Rather, those items will be placed in high-traffic areas of our home and I don't care how much they hate me, I will know every single one of their passwords. My 11 year old daughter will not be wearing Halloween costumes that have fish-net pantyhose or choker collars. My son will not be allowed to play video games all summer long or have a cell phone at age 10. My kids WILL BE ALLOWED to be just that. KIDS. And we, as their parents, want to protect that for them to the best of our ability. So you want to know what we did Sunday evening? The TV was turned off and all four of us went outside for a hike. My kids played tag, hide-n-seek, helped Daddy drive the tractor, and at dusk counted the stars. There IS more to life than a football game. Even the Superbowl.
It was hard to not walk away from the TV feeling DEFEATED in this uphill battle we have facing us as parents who want to raise GODLY children. But should we give up hope? Should we let fear rule us and shelter our children completely from the outside world? Absolutely not! Who is our hope in? My hope is in the Lord and that hope turns into HELP when I need it most as a momma.
Before you think I'm fluffing up my feathers too much, let me be the FIRST to say...I'M GUILTY! I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS! SOMETIMES I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I'M DOING!!!! But when it comes to the TV, I've learned very quickly...the world is OUT to SNATCH our kids. Even PBS is pushing certain “agenda's” that go against God's Word. The other morning I let my kids watch TV while they ate breakfast. I turned on PBS and the show “Dinosaur Train” was on. Both of my kids LOVE trains...but this show has always disturbed my spirit because it teaches evolution, something I feel is completely contrary to God's Word as well as to modern day science. (which I'll have to save for another blog.) But do you want to know something? I let them watch it IN SPITE of that tickling in my spirit that said to do otherwise. After all, Charlee is only 3, Sam only 1...right? WRONG! A few days later it was on again and I had to stop it and explain to my kids why we were no longer allowed to watch it. It promotes and teaches things that are in direct contrast to God's Word. Period.
My 3 year old likes to occasionally watch a show called 'Caillou', but WOW that kid can WHINE and his mother is the BIGGEST PUSHOVER I've ever seen! I had to make a decision: let her watch it or not? I asked God to “settle in my heart” the best way to approach that show. It was one of those “gray” areas. So rather than banning it altogether, (and since she rarely watches it), I decided that if I heard Caillou getting whiny to simply pause the show and discuss his behavior. (we usually talk about the fruits of the spirit and then specifically SELF CONTROL and is whiny talking using self control w/ our voices, etc) Teachable moments. Ahhhh...
Remember Seinfeld? One of my favorite episodes was about “the Bubble Boy”.
Jerry Seinfeld: He's a bubble-boy!
George Costanza: A bubble-boy?
Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, a bubble-boy.
Susan Biddle Ross: What's a bubble-boy?
Jerry Seinfeld: He lives in a bubble.
George Costanza: Boy!
George Costanza: A bubble-boy?
Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, a bubble-boy.
Susan Biddle Ross: What's a bubble-boy?
Jerry Seinfeld: He lives in a bubble.
George Costanza: Boy!
Oh that I could have my kids live in a bubble! However, God's Word is very clear: We are to teach our children to be in this world, but not of this world. But this is a process, a learning process for them AND for us. But I can tell you this...THIS momma isn't goin' down w/out a fight. Until the day I take my last dying breath, my kids will be prayed up and powered up. Prayed up meaning: I will pray Scripture over them until the day I die. Powered Up meaning: I will give them every tool I can to EMPOWER them to make WISE choices. Now, whether they choose to do it or not is between them and God, but by golly, If God be For Us Then Who Can Be Against Us.
The world we live in has a loud voice so we need to have a louder one. Children take in everything they see and hear around them whether we (or they) realize it or not. They are like sponges. What do we want them to soak up? And what are YOU going to do about it?
APATHY. COMPLACENCY. INDIFFERENCE.
VS
VIGILANCE. PERSISTANCE. CONSISTANT.
